VIDEO BLOG: Do you often overreact to tough situations? It's taken me a long time to learn how to MANAGE difficult situations but here are some tips I use to help myself keep moving forward on a positive note. 

NOTE: This blog goes out to all the ladies because I think you're being targeted more then the fella's. This blog as isn't going to be about your weight and the dozens of reasons it's fluctuating. We could talk about water weight, muscle weight, periods (okay I really can't talk about that), excess sodium, your diet fluctuations or many other topics but the real solution to this obstacle  is in our minds so it's only appropriate we start there. 





I'M SORRY LADIES but it seems as though you're the target of every marketer. I can't even check-out in a grocery line without seeing magazine covers everywhere trying to grab my attention. Most covers clad with fitness models implying the message of "you should but don't look as good as me" and the others with celebrity bodies and "the one trick they did to get into amazing shape," as if it was really that easy.

I was watching the movie The Flight of the Phoenix (2004) the other day and one of the characters said something I'll never forget. He said, "Religion divides people. Belief in something (referring to spirituality) unites them."

Now this isn't a blog about religion or spirituality but that statement got me thinking to how often 'labels' divide us. Think about politics, sexual preferences, food choices, job titles, diseases and the list goes on. We meet someone and right away we begin forming opinions based on these labels. Why do we put ourselves in these little "boxes" as my friend Derek would say?

It's these boxes that end up dividing people. Isn't it more important to unite people?

I had an awesome conversation with some friends of mine the other day which brought up some really cool ideas I wanted to share on how to achieve success more easily.

KEEP OUT:  Negativity and limits
"Don't say I can't, say I presently struggle with" is a quote from Tony Horton in the beginning of one of his popular P90X workouts.  Keep negativity and limits out of everything you say and the world will truly open up for you.  I find whether you want to achieve something or not, it's always best to keep negativity and limits out of your vocabulary.

There's another great quote that says, "It doesn't matter if you think you can or if you think you can't, either way you're right."  Your mind is a sponge, keep garbage out of it and it won't give you garbage.  This isn't always an easy rule to follow, but I promise you it will pay off, and you'll literally see life in an entirely different light.

The 5 minute rule
Have you ever wanted to do something that is counterproductive to your goals?   Of course you have, everyone has!  Try this next time.  Let's say your goal is to lose some weight.  The next time you have that beautiful piece of chocolaty desert sitting in front of you I want you to wait 5 minutes.  At the end of 5 minutes if you still want the cake eat it, if not then don't.  It's that simple.

This rule works in reverse too.  Want to lose weight but don't feel like working out that day.  We've all been there.  Do this, start working out but only commit to 5 minutes.  If at the end of 5 minutes you still don't feel like completing your workout don't, if you do, keep on going!  It doesn't matter what it is just take 5 minutes in the direction of your long term goals and if at the end of that 5 minutes you still feel like going the other way, do it.

This is a great rule for achieving anything in your life and realizing that life isn't made up of snap decisions like all marketing would want us to believe.  Take your time, weigh the pros and cons and only then make a decision.  Sometimes you'll still make a decision that isn't quite inline with your goals but a majority of them will be, and that's the idea.  Goals aren't reached by never failing, they're reached by continually doing better over time.

Would you rather?
Similar to the 5 minute rule but without the time limit.  Instead of setting a time, take the time to think to yourself would I rather.  Would I rather keep losing weight or would I rather eat the desert.  Would I rather keep sleeping in or would I rather get more work done and finish up earlier today.  Compare your actions with your goals and take just a few seconds to think about it.  I don't promise this will be easy but it will be worth it.

After some time you'll  most likely find yourself keeping away from activities which put you in a situation that you even need to ask the question to yourself.  It's much easier to say no to a beer after work if you're not already at the bar surrounded by friends!  :)

Conclusion
Incorporate all or just some of these mental 'games' into your daily decisions and you won't believe how much faster your goals will come.  After sometime you'll begin to notice other people who could also use this advice, please share this with them!

If you have any questions or want to continue the conversation contact me now.

Okay Thanksgiving is over, Black Friday is over and Cyber Monday is over.  All the deals are gone and if you didn't get your Christmas shopping done then it's probably on your to do list.  Is the end of November and all of December all about shopping and deals now?  I thought Thanksgiving was about you know... 'giving thanks,' and Christmas (at least for me) was about spending time with loved ones and celebrating the holiday season together.

I admit I do enjoy November because many of my friends partake in the every day in November "I'm thankful for..." post on their Facebook walls.   I also secretly enjoy the hearing about Black Friday craziness that has happened all over the country (ironically happening after Thanksgiving where we all just gave thanks).  I even check out the deals online but rarely ever buy anything.

With all that craziness and even more coming in December it can be hard to 'keep your eye on the prize,' and use what these holidays were meant for in my opinion; removing yourself from the daily stresses of your life and simply being happy and celebrating life.

I have TWO questions for you...

ONE - Giving Thanks and Thanksgiving
Why are you only thankful during November?  Or is it easy to put a 'cap' on the number of thankful posts you are required to do because there are only so many days until Thanksgiving?   Look, I'm not trying to 'knock' anyone who partakes in these posts but why not take it a step further, continue this all year round.

I've learned that in order to create a happier life we must always be giving thanks and praise to the people around us.  If you're not comfortable posting publicly then make sure to contact your friends, family, co-workers, etc every so often and just say thanks!  These actions have actually been proven to help make you a happier less stressful person.

TWO - Shopping and Black Friday
Okay so you've accumulated a bunch of stuff, now what?  Fine if your TV is broken and you want a new one I get it but I think most people just buy stuff to well, just buy stuff.  Is the new TV that's 4 inches bigger making your life any better?  Has waiting outside for hours on end for the latest deals made your life any better?  I can't tell you how often I look around my apartment at 'stuff' that hasn't really added any value to my life.  I mean, I wanted it at the time and now I can't remember why.

Here's my formula for everything I buy now.  I ask myself...
1.  Why am I buying this?
2.  Does this purchase improve my life?
3.  Does this purchase help me achieve my personal goals or dreams?

If I answer 'no' to the last two questions then I rethink why I'm buying whatever it is. This doesn't just work for buying things, it also works for spending you time.  We all complain about not having enough time yet we're constantly wasting it on things that don't matter.  YOUR health, YOUR family and friends, and YOUR dreams matter the most.  Spend your time, money, effort, and love on those items and less on everything else.

Conclusion
I read a quote once that went something like, "on your deathbed you're not gong to have wished you worked more, spent more time on the computer, or watched more TV.  You're going to wish you spent more time with friends and family, tried new things and experienced all that life has to offer."  I'm paraphrasing and adding my own words in but I think you get the point.  Spend your time, money and emotions where it matters the most.

This holiday season I challenge you to step back from the sales, the marketing, the traffic, the lines and all the stresses and think about what really matters the most to you.  Remember to breath when something doesn't go your way and start the New Year off with an entirely new view of the world and what you want to accomplish in it.



P.S. If you liked this post please check out one of my favorite speakers on 'Happiness' Shawn Achor.  He has an amazing TED Talk you can watch which I share with all my friends.  I listen to it about once a month.