SO = Significant Other

I posted this image on my Facebook wall and I asked the questions, "What are your thoughts? Do you allow your significant other access to your phone? Do they know your pass-code etc? If so why or why not?"

It was an interesting conversation because I didn't quite get the debate I thought I would. The majority of people agreed that they locked their phones for anti-theft purposes but that their SO knew the pass-code. They also agreed that there wasn't really ever a reason for them to gain access to their SO's phone. Lastly they agreed that if there was enough suspicion to arouse or warrant that type of action than the relationship never lasted anyways.

Then the conversation turned into what I thought was a more interesting conversation...  

Does asking your SO who they're talking/ texting count as snooping? Just as going through their phone without permission count as snooping.

This is where we seemed to get mixed answers.

In my opinion I look at this two ways...

ONE, if you ask them what they're doing on their phone isn't that the same thing? The outcome of snooping without permission and asking is the same; you gain knowledge of what their actions are on their phone. I'm sure the next logical argument would be, "they don't HAVE to tell me, that's the difference, I'm just asking." YEAH RIGHT. Let's be serious, if you ask the question, your SO is almost forced to give up the info because if not they'll definitely be placed under suspicion.

TWO, if you have to ask, then do you really trust them in the first place? I don't believe in 'band-aiding' things in life. What I mean by that is, finding short term solutions to bigger problems. I prefer to dig deep and figure out the reason for the question in the first place so it can be avoided in the future.

Maybe your SO doesn't like the fact that you're not paying attention to them and instead you're on your phone, maybe they really are suspicious of your actions or maybe they're just bored and trying to start a conversation. Regardless of their reasoning you probably made a mistake somewhere before this all happened that you need to look into.


Conclusion
I have seen a number of successful and unsuccessful relationships in my time and the one thing that usually draws the line between the two is COMMUNICATION. If your SO does something that bothers you tell them, regardless if it's their problem or your own. Maybe the two of you can work it out together.

Trust and communication is something earned and worked on. If you find yourself wanting to know what your SO is doing ask yourself why.  If you still can't figure it out, communicate your thoughts with them. Find a solution to this mistrust together so that you can both be more trusting and happy.

Of course to tie this all up into a pretty bow the answer to this question in my opinion is this...

I believe you should not hide your actions on your phone with your SO (minus surprises and such). But, I also believe that there should be enough trust between the two of you that your SO should never go looking or feel the need to be asking.


-->What are your thoughts?  Comment below